My grandfather always used to say, "Words can lie but bodies always tell the truth." He was a firm believer in the importance of body language, or how our posture, movements, and facial expressions often provide hints about our moods and personality. Initially, I found these lectures on body language to be extremely boring. Years later, however, they turned out to be invaluable. My first big job interview provided a lesson on the importance of body language. I remember sitting in the waiting room and eyeing my nearest competitor. He was slouching in his chair with his arms crossed in front of him. If my grandfather were there, he would have politely told him that his body language implied a lazy, antisocial personality. When it came time for my interview, I abided by all the rules of positive body language: I maintained good eye contact and posture to convey self-confidence, and I made sure not to fidget with my hands or feet. The interview ended up going so well that I was hired on the spot. After that, I applied my grandfather's theories of good body language to every aspect of my life. When out on a date, I knew if the girl was interested in me. If she always moved closer, kept her hands and arms open, and smiled and maintained eye contact, I knew she was a keeper. However, someone who tilted her body backward, looked off to the side a lot, or fiddled with her hands wasn't worth much of an emotional investment. There was even one time when I knew a breakup was coming months in advance, all because I noticed a few telltale signs that my partner was lying. According to my grandfather, liars will often touch their face or hands, cross their arms, and lean away from you. As much as I didn't want to believe it at the time, it turns out he's totally correct. I owe a great deal to my grandfather for the insight into body language he gave me. Good body language can open doors in someone's professional and personal life, and bad body language can be a considerable handicap. 我的祖父過去常說:「話能騙人,但身體騙不了人。」他深信肢體語言的重要性,我們的每一個姿勢、動作和臉部表情,無不反映出我們的情緒和性格。一開始,我覺得這些肢體語言之說實在無聊,然而多年之後,我才明白這些話的珍貴。 我第一次參加重要的工作面試,就證明了肢體語言的重要性。我記得坐在等候區時,看見旁邊的競爭對手坐姿懶散、雙手交叉在胸前。要是祖父也在場,他一定會婉轉地告訴他,這種肢體語言已經說明了他懶惰、反社會的性格。輪到我面試的時候,我奉行了所有正面的肢體語言規則:保持良好的眼神交流和體態,以展現自信,同時手腳不要動來動去。於是我的面試進行得很 順利,我也立刻獲得錄取。 後來我把祖父的肢體語言理論,運用到生活的各個層面。出去約會時,我一看就知道這個女生對我有沒有意思。如果她總是向我靠近,雙手自然敞開,面帶微笑並且與我眼神接觸,我就知道這個人值得我追求。反之,如果對方總是把身體後傾,左顧右盼,或者把玩自己的手,就不太值得把感情投注在她身上了。 甚至有一次,我在數個月前就察覺了分手的先兆,只因為我發現對方說謊的種種跡象。根據我祖父的理論,一個人說謊的時候常會摸臉或手,不自覺雙手交叉,身體也會遠離對方。就算我再怎麼不願意相信,他說的實在是千真萬確。 祖父教我洞察肢體語言,讓我獲益匪淺。好的肢體語言可以為我們開啟職場和人生的大門,錯誤的肢體語言則會成為人生路上的絆腳石。 |