形容做事小心,英文只會說"very careful"?改說這一句,讓你的英文更有畫面感
外國人在國小學寫作的時候,都會接觸到一個最高原則"Show, don't tell.",意思是要寫一個好故事除了要「描述」通順,還要「描繪」出畫面感,讓它活靈活現、呼之欲出,只要開始"Showing",就不需要再"telling",這也是為什麼賣座小說卻不一定能成為賣座電影的因素之一,因為讓讀者「創造畫面」勝過「描述畫面」。
"Telling"的字多半是靜態的、抽象的,其中最困難克服的像是cold、tall、angry這類的形容詞或名詞;"Showing"的字多是動態動詞、具象、充滿細節,請看以下比較:
(Telling)Cold 冷
(Showing) I tighten my scarf and shove both hands deep into your pockets
用「拉緊」圍巾、雙手「插入口袋」來創造畫面
(Telling)Tall 高
(Showing)Others look up when they talk with him
想要形容一個人很高,用別人要「向上看的動作」來呈現這個人的高
(Telling)Angry 生氣
(Showing)her face flushing, her voice rising
用滿臉「漲紅」、「聲音變大」的具體細節來描繪生氣的樣子
外國人在"show and tell"訓練比我們還要頻繁,他們說出口的英文往往是出乎意料的簡單、有趣、活潑,同樣都是錯過了公車,老中可能只會說:I missed my bus this morning.
老外會說:I raced down the road, wildly waving my hands, and yelling, "Stop, stop"but the bus drove by without stopping.
再試試以下四個句子:
1.我先生好愛花錢。
(Telling) My husband is a spender.
(Showing) Money always burns a hole in my husband’s pocket.
說明:spender是「愛花錢的人」,雖然直截了當,但遠不如「口袋總是被錢燒個洞」的說法容易想像,還帶點自嘲的趣味。
2.晚餐時我和Jill相談甚歡。
(Telling) I had a great conversation with Jill over dinner.
(Showing) I was riveted by Jill over dinner.I barely touched my food.
說明:單純地說「我和Jill在晚餐上進行了很好的交談」不足以表現兩人之間熱烈的思想交流。「我的注意力完全集中在Jill身上,幾乎沒有碰一下我的食物」就很有畫面感。
3.自從我接下這個工作後,就一直很小心。
(Telling) I have been very careful ever since I took this job.
(Showing) I have been walking on eggs ever since I took this job.
說明:告訴同事或主管,自己對執行這份工作很謹慎、很在意,就彷彿每天都走在蛋殼上,深怕一不小心,蛋就破了,譬喻加有畫面的說法,肯定能讓對方瞭解你的用心。
4.威廉輸掉了這場比賽。
(Telling) William lost this game.
(Showing) William bit the dust at this game.
說明:將比賽比喻成上戰場打仗,「威廉被對手一劍刺中落馬,臉朝下吃得一嘴泥土…」這樣有實況感的說法,絶對比單單講lose(輸)更能表現落敗者的失意。